Split My Brains

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Do you remember " let's talk" ???

perhaps I was seated on the toilet ranting

I think I was trying to say something...

I wanted to ask you if it is real...

You were laughing... it was funny... no sense was made

Maybe I wanted to say this:

Do I really love? 

Why do you want me?

Do you want me?

How do you want me?

Am I just a FUCK?

Take that object off your finger

My brain reacts to it negatively

Do you believe in it?

Is it real?

I hate that fucking thing...

Remember nothing of this has ever been stated.

I couldn't.

I am a coward sometimes.

I don't want to be... believe me.

I have pride

poke and poke and poke...

until the balloon sweats

droplets of fear and lust and pain streak my face

I struggle to emote... like always

pull it out of myself... it should be easy.. but it's not

If you leave where will I fit? 

If I fit when will you leave?

Will we embrace with reality?

I wish this was a story, one with twists and turns and upheavals

it's a walked path I think

footprints ahead of me reveal mistaken routes

or do they?

I know the route to your center, to your twitching writhing secretions

the sounds of you and I connecting...

perhaps I am a fool... I think I am

I constantly prove it to myself

nonetheless I am lost...

My brains split in two

to, two, too...